{"id":266,"date":"2018-05-13T15:18:54","date_gmt":"2018-05-13T19:18:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/actownsend.com\/MEOW\/?p=266"},"modified":"2018-05-13T15:19:39","modified_gmt":"2018-05-13T19:19:39","slug":"contemplating-mothers-day","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/actownsend.com\/MEOW\/contemplating-mothers-day\/","title":{"rendered":"Contemplating Mother’s Day"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/span><\/p>\n


\nWhile perusing Facebook this week, I\u2019ve read many messages by friends honoring their moms in observation of Mother\u2019s Day. A mother\u2019s boundless love is a beautiful, indescribable blessing. This, I know.<\/span><\/p>\n

Mother\u2019s Day was intended to be a special day on which individuals would spend time with their moms, enjoying their company and telling them how much they were loved. West Virginia native Anna Jarvis, who established the occasion in 1908 as a tribute to her own mother, was dismayed by the commercialization of Mother\u2019s Day after it was proclaimed a holiday in 1914.<\/span><\/p>\n

Despite Anna\u2019s disappointment that gifts and cards often replaced time and companionship, her legacy is an annual occasion of joy for many families. Even those who mourn for mothers who have passed away find comfort in the beauty with which these precious ladies completed the lives of their children and grandchildren. Despite the loss, the love remains.<\/span><\/p>\n

But I have observed another perspective regarding Mother\u2019s Day.<\/span><\/p>\n

For some, the word \u201cmother\u201d is synonymous with abuse. Far from epitomizing the generous and caring woman of Proverbs 31, there are mothers who make life miserable for their children.<\/span><\/p>\n

Horror stories of violence and neglect are broadcast and printed daily by news outlets, but most physical and verbal abuse takes place privately, and if it is discovered, it isn\u2019t publicized by the media. (If it bleeds, it leads, but a bruise isn\u2019t news.)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

How do those who survived years of abuse as children cope with the emotional and spiritual residue as adults?<\/span><\/p>\n

I am a cat, an excellent listener who provides warm acceptance and unconditional love. I calm the heart and soothe the soul. I am not a psychologist capable of addressing the devastating effects, deeply ingrained, caused by lifetime of cruelty that only humans are capable of inflicting.<\/span><\/p>\n

But on Mother\u2019s Day, when a nation of people are dedicating love and honor to all of the wonderful moms who truly deserve it, I would like to share encouragement with those who do not have a positive parental relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t

When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take care of me. ~ Psalm 27:10\u00a0<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t

<\/i>Click To Tweet<\/span><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div><\/span><\/p>\n

The same God whose word commands children to honor their father and their mother knew that parents would not always be honorable. How can you honor the person who physically and verbally abused you throughout your life?<\/span><\/p>\n

You do this by honoring God as your Father. Adults who came from abusive parents tend to automatically assign the qualities of those parents to God and view Him as the spiritual equivalent of the abusive human mother and father. While this is understandable, it is nevertheless a lie. God\u2019s love is overwhelming and pure beyond what the human mind can comprehend.\u00a0 You can trust God not to hurt you. You can go to God and tell him everything \u2013 everything<\/em> \u2013 and know that He loves you and invites you to trust Him and honor Him with your presence and your confidence.<\/span><\/p>\n

You can view your parents as individuals with a past. <\/strong><\/em><\/span>Always remember this: the abuse you endured isn\u2019t about you at all. It never was. Abusers are human beings with damaged souls who, finding no good in themselves, set out to destroy the good in others. You are the collateral damage of your mother\u2019s or father\u2019s wounded past. In no way does this justify what they did to you. But it offers you the potentially healing perspective of realizing that they hated themselves far more than they ever hated you; that at one time, they, too, were innocent children; and that whatever happened to mutate the children they were into the monsters they became took place long before you were even conceived.<\/span><\/p>\n

You can be thankful<\/strong><\/em><\/span> that you are who God says you are<\/em>, not who they said you were! God says you are beloved. God says you are blessed. God says you are you are a jewel; you are the apple of His eye; you are beautiful; you are His<\/em> child! Believe Him!<\/span><\/p>\n

You can make certain that the abuse goes no further than your parents<\/strong>.<\/span><\/em> The Bible relates some interesting things about generational curses. We see it all around us: drug addictions, criminal behavior, physical abuse, poverty, for only a few examples. Children grow to adulthood surrounded by family members who practice those behaviors, only to raise their own children in those same situations, and then their children\u2019s children continue that same path on through the generations. It is almost certain that the parents who abused you were themselves abused at some point in their lives. They passed their abuse on to you. Make sure it stops here. You won\u2019t mean to hurt anyone else, but like any other behavior learned during childhood, abuse can become automatic, independent of thought or intent until the damage has been done. Speak with a counselor, a pastor, a psychologist, if necessary. Another person\u2019s insight can help you make peace with your past and lay those nightmares to rest and ensure that you don\u2019t unintentionally pass them on to the next generation.<\/span><\/p>\n

You can forgive them.<\/em><\/strong><\/span> Forgiveness isn’t a feeling. It isn’t telling the abuser that what he or she did was okay, because punishment and reprieve are God’s business. Forgiveness doesn’t mean promising that you will never remember those circumstances with anger. Forgiveness doesn’t even mean you will continue a relationship with the abuser.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Forgiveness is a choice. It is something you choose to do in order to release yourself from the self-destructive bitterness, anger, and desire for revenge that are the residue of being brutally and deliberately hurt by another person.<\/span><\/p>\n

Forgiveness is also a form of acceptance. What happened, happened. No amount of anger or vengeance will change that. Punishing abusers or watching them suffer in retaliation will not change what has already been done and will not erase the hurt they caused. The scars will always be there.<\/span><\/p>\n

Forgiveness frees you of a burden you were never intended to carry. Give your hurt and the individual who caused it to God and leave any judgment and consequences up to Him while you move forward into the abundant life He has prepared for you to receive. As difficult or impossible as forgiveness might feel, God will lead you through the process as you pray for His very present help each day. He knows how you feel. He knows why you feel that way. And He understands completely.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"You can celebrate the strong and beautiful women who are blessings to you!<\/strong><\/span><\/em>\u00a0 Those women who are mother figures, sisters, dear friends \u2013 uplifting, encouraging, inspiring role models who believe in you and help you to believe in yourself \u2013 Mother\u2019s Day is an excellent time to let them know how much you treasure their love and their positive influence on your life.<\/span><\/p>\n

You can celebrate your own children<\/strong>.<\/span><\/em>\u00a0 Whether you have children of your own or interact with the children of other family members and friends, imagine your dream mom, the mother you wish you\u2019d had. Be that mom to all of the children in your life.<\/span><\/p>\n

To all my human female friends \u2013 moms with human children, moms with fur children, and mom figures to other children, all of whom live out a positive influence to guide the next generation \u2013 Happy Mother\u2019s Day, today and every day, in your<\/em> Extra~Ordinary World!<\/span><\/p>\n

Love and Purrs!
\n\"\"
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Go farther with God!<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Psalm 17:8-9 NKJV
\n<\/span>Psalm 45:10-11 NKJV
\n<\/span>Psalm 46:1 NKJV
\n<\/span>Malachi 3:17 NKJV
\n<\/span>Romans 8:15-16 NJKV
\n<\/span>Ephesians 6:1-4 NKJV<\/span><\/p>\n

Original Post May 8, 2016<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

While perusing Facebook this week, I\u2019ve read many messages by friends honoring their moms in observation of Mother\u2019s Day. A mother\u2019s boundless love is a beautiful, indescribable blessing. This, I know. Mother\u2019s Day was intended to be a special day on which individuals would spend time with their moms, enjoying their company and telling them…<\/p>\n

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